Vomit Berries, Bin Juice and Other Tales

  I have had such an incredible last few months, I can't even begin to write about it. Both good and bad things have happened, but as I am feeling reasonably joyful tonight I will touch on only nice things... And Other Tales.

Vomit Berries

  What the hell? 

Its amazing to me how smells can trigger memories you forgot you had. 

  Here in Korea they have these trees, and the look a little bit like mini-oak trees. No idea what they are called... Anyway there are a heap of them living in the side street right near my building. There are also a heap of them in Pyeongtaek, but not many in Seoul that I have seen. They are green for all of Spring and Summer, then fade off in Autumn and look completely dead in Winter. Pretty standard for a tree in this part of the world. the weird thing about these trees are the fruit they drop at the end of Summer - when they open the smell dead set like fresh vomit. Total spew stench. I remember when I first smelt that awful stench... It was a weekend, one of my first in Korea I would imagine, and I thought that there must be fresh spew somewhere. But the smell was everywhere!!! It wasn't until a friend pointed out to me that these small orange fruits were squished everywhere, and maybe it was this I could smell. 

I said to her "Can you not smell the puke smell?" 

She said no, not really, it was just a sort of off fruit smell. Nope, I replied, I can smell spew. So basically I think I must be the only one who can smell them this way. Strange but whatever.

  I got back from Malaysia on Sunday around 11:30, and I am strolling down the road with my bags in tow and I smell this vom smell. Its a Sunday morning so this is def not out of the ordinary in my area. I start paying closer attention, as I don't fancy rolling my bags through someones old dinner and drinks regurgitated. Of course, as you probably guessed, there was no spew to be seen. And then, as I near my building, walking down the street with the weird mini-oaks I see all these squashed fruits littering the road. And I remember. Its the Vomit Berries. Almost instantly I remember the feeling of being excited, fresh and alive. It was just over a year ago I first caught scent of this gross fruit, and now when I smell it, to me the fruit smells like freedom and adventure. Its strange that a sniff of vomit can create this sense. Yet here I am, remembering. I walked around the corner back to my house and thought about it a bit. Not much, because I was so fucking tired from the plane/bus ride, but thought enough to know that I actually quite like the smell of Vomit Berries. Not because I want to turn them into a perfume and wear it, but because it makes me re-live those first few weeks I came to this strange country. I remember being nervous, excited, grossed out and lonely. And I love it. 

Speaking of bad smells...

  Some asshole has left what smells like bin juice in the elevator. It fully reeks, even Milky didn't want to go in there. Its like someone has had fish or something, and binned it and dripped it everywhere. Or something equally rotten. My other big issue (apart from the smell) with this is that I am worried someone is gonna blame it on Milky, and suggest that he peed in the elevator. Which he NEVER has done. So someone better get rid of it. This is probably the reason why we have bugs in our building... If I discover who the jerk is who is not properly managing their wastes I am gonna go all Hulk on them and pitch them off the building. Actually, its going on my list of things that annoy me... #6 for sure (if thats what I am up to). End rant.

Travels

  In the last 2 months I was lucky enough to visit Japan, see new parts of Korea and also visit Malaysia. Let me sum up these places briefly:

Japan

  The Land of the Rising Sun was not what I expected. To be fair to Japan I was sick the whole time I was there - my wisdom teeth were killing me so I couldn't really sample the yummy food. My sinuses were blocked to the point I couldn't breath through my nose, and my head felt like it was full of painful cotton wool. I was feverish and on pain killers the entire time. And to top it off we were there in probably the worst time to visit - high summer. It was so humid and sticky we could hardly be bothered doing the sightseeing we did let alone adding on more things. Coupled with one hectic night in Kyoto where we got shitfaced and consequently hungover the next day, I think we did the best with what we had. BUT Japan did not leave a lasting impression on me. 

  

 

Osaka Castle

  I didn't really like Osaka (at least the parts I saw), I thought it was dirty and the stations grossed me out. The best part about it was the fact that everyone there seemed to ride pushbikes. It was adorable. 

  I liked Kyoto much more, it had a sense of history that I had not experienced anywhere else. Asian castles are something else all together, and although we saw one in Osaka (Osaka Castle) I still preferred the shrines we saw in Kyoto area. I would have liked to have spent at least another full day there. Night life was also funnnnn.

Deer selfie in Nara

Some Shrine... Can't remember its name but its famous (I am hopeless)

Me, Jess and Nay -
high school sweethearts!

  Tokyo was all over the place. It was huge, and we def needed mroe time to explore. But I felt disconnected from the city, in a way that I haven't felt in other cities. It felt kind of... unfriendly and false. Like it was lying to me about its intentions. I don't know how else to explain it... Anyway I would like to go back and see Tokyo and Kyoto, and also maybe go up to Sapporo one day.

  In all, the best part of Japan was seeing my friends from Australia. They made the trip. Oh, and also discovering my new favorite author Haruki Marukami. Read his books, please. They have kinda changed my life.

One of the temples

Penang

  I went to Penang, Malaysia over Chuseok with mum. It was totally uneventful, which was just what we both wanted. Sun, pool and good food. Penang has it all in large doses. We both we looking forward to the break, and also catching up after nearly 12 months of not seeing each other. I mean, we Skype all the time but its not the same. So it was so great to just hang out and do nothing but chat and catch up. I am already excited to see her again at Christmas!!!

Hotel was amazing - Hard Rock Hotel, Penang

Beach right outside. Water was beautiful

I love temples... Mum doesn't share my enthusiasm for them :s

Wow. I really didn't mean to go on like I did. It's nearly 12am and I need to sleep, but I am feeling all reflective... I could go on all night the way my mind is ticking right now. I won't though, cos lets be honest - most of what comes out my mouth is nonsense anyway. And its always worse when it's late night rambles.

Sleep well, citizens

xoxoxo

A Wild Sheep Chase - Review

  That's right, readers... I go on an amazing holiday with amazing people, and all I want to do is talk about the latest book I have read. What can I say? I have strange priorities...

Book Review

A Wild Sheep Chase - Haruki Murakami

  I was stuck at the airport for hours in Tokyo, because I am a fantastic friend and opted to join the girls on their early morning airport pilgrimage rather than sleep a few hours extra and meet them in Korea. This meant I had time to kill in Narita Airport, so I alternated between snacking and eating for the most part. I was woken up by a crying child and figured there must be a better way to spend my time and I went wandering around and found some super well-stocked book shops. They had a great mix of Japanese and English books, so I stood in the English section for a good 30 minutes deciding what book I wanted to read. I was really happy to see plenty of Japanese books with English translations, so I picked up some that had the 'ol tag line of "best seller" on them. Many of them were by some guy named Murakami, so I grabbed one of his and flipped to the back to see what the deal was. To be honest, they all seemed a little, well, weird. Some borderline supernatural, some murder mysteries, some action, and some romance (are sex and romance the same thing?? I seriously doubt it, but I think you get my point). I ended up settling on a book called "A Wild Sheep Chase", which was apparently about a guy who goes looking for a lost magic sheep with his girlfriend who has ears that give her ESP. Ok, like I said, it was strange pickings. 

  Can I just say, it was the best thing I have read since "American Gods".

  The narrator is a recently divorced guy who, through strange circumstances, ends up being blackmailed into hunting for a lost sheep that was photographed by a friend. This sheep is kinda magic - it possesses people and they end up doing great things. I see now that the sheep must be a metaphor for something, but I am still thinking about this book and puzzling over what it could be. 

  Anyway the guy goes off with his new girlfriend on the hunt for the sheep, and ends up meeting people from his past on the way. I think the Narrator himself is a pretty messed up dude, and in a way going on this little sheep hunt is a way of him sorting through his own life. I wont give away the ending, but it certainly didn't end the way I thought it would, which I quite like in a book. I used to read a whole lot, so endings to stories tend to become rather predictable... This one ended badly but well fitting for the story. Some might actually say it was a happy ending of sorts. Have a read and tell me what you think I spose. 

  The book is writing in the first person, a style I am not accustomed to but fitted this story well. He ducks into the past at times, but tells these things as if he is talking to you real time. The author is descriptive without going into retarded detail, and keeps things on point. Certain parts of the story seemed a little irrelevant to me, but it all went towards character development so I guess it all worked out. So if you are reading, stick with the seemingly off bits. 

  Having just been in Japan and seeing certain sites mentioned, it was nice to put a real image to the places. The story is mainly set in areas in Northern Japan, and even if you have never been there (which I haven't) you can certainly get a feel about what its like. 

  I liked the main character. I felt like he was totally relatable, because everyone at some point knows what it feels like to simply feel, well, there. Just being present without actually being present. Utterly mediocre and static. He needed something to put him back into motion and remind him to live. I don't know what happens to him after the book, but in my head I have made up a great scenario for him, where things turn out well. Unfortunately I don't think that they would have... I think he may have gone the way of "Rat".

  An interesting side the the actual writing is that no one is named. Some people have nicknames, but not one person is actually named. I thought this was quite clever... 

  So anyway I really think you should read it. It was a good book, but kinda makes you think. Like I said earlier, I am still undecided about what the sheep actually represents. I googled it, and some people have said personal ambition, some religion/faith, some depression, some drugs. I honestly don't know. 

Side note on my holiday/vacation

  Yes, I went to Japan for 8 days and then back to Korea where I spent a drunken week in Busan with 2 of my Aussie friends. Nay is still here in Korea, so after she leaves and I have a bit more time, I will let everyone know what we got up to (G-rated version) and how the whole thing was. I also took some adorable videos of my kids for Summer Camp so I will get them up too. 

  I can already tell this next 6 months is gonna fly by... I signed my new contract yesterday with Songshin, so I am locked for another year in this mad place. I mean mad in the literal sense, not this whole "mad"/"cool"/"awesome" sense. Its crazy here, I am going to come home and need to be locked away in an asylum for another 12 months. I'll be mid-30's before I am fit for Australian society again. 

  So yeah I will update next week or something. No promises, because I break them all the time. 

xoxoxo

And that was camp

Vacation is so close I can taste it...

  I have come to the conclusion I am one of the worst ESL teachers going around. Half of it is my fault the other half I blame my co teacher, but I just have no idea how to effectivly plan a lesson. especially a 3 hour lesson. And that is what camp is basically, from 9 - 12 the kids come in and are supposed to do English activities and learn something. My take on it is to do as many crafts and fun things as possible. They are getting English simply by listening to me and following instructions so its not a complete loss. Needless to say that they aren't doing much new learning. 

  The word of the week was most definitely "slime, which we did on Thursday and was asked to repeat today. It killed some time so I was like hell, why not? So we made more slime and play doh. They say "no Teacher we don't like to do this" and instead of me saying stfu kids you WILL do this, I am all like "oh, ok. What do you wanna do?"

"SLIME"

Whatever. They don't wanna be here any more than I do. The schools offer the English Camps for free over the school holidays as a way to get the kids out of their parents hair. I read on a fb group page that some people hate  the whole catchphrase of "paid babysitting" for what we do at camp, but unfortunately for me it is pretty accurate. I don't give a shit what the parents think, if they hated me that much they would find a way to get me out of the school. And if that tragedy did happen I have back up schools. 

  It seemed to me that they enjoyed most of the activities. The fave for them was the "egg parachute" followed by "slime". I got videos of them doing the egg drop but only play doh and not slime. It got messy and I didn't want my camera getting grubby. 

  Another highlight for me personally was watching the kids put every condiment on their egg and cucumber sandwiches. Again, I have videos of this - I am planning on putting it together later tonight or tomorrow and popping it on youtube. 

Pastels and candy

Eating popcorn and watching Flubber

KiMin and his play-doh face

  There are some things that I would change for the camp, but mostly I liked the craft and I will do it again next year, depending on the students. Other things I would change include not getting shit-faced on a Tuesday night and then having Wednesday as egg sandwich day (it made me wanna vomit), preparing stuff in the afternoons rather than freaking out in the morning (keeping in mind I have a good 4 hours in the afternoon to prepare - instead I snooze and watch tv shows), and also have more back up ideas. In my defence, I was told by my co that the camp would be 2 hours in the morning, but the kids all stayed until 12 every day. So my plans were never going to be good enough. 

  I am glad its over, because now it's time for vacation. And you all know what that means - Japan.

Japan

  I am soooo excited to see Jess and Nay, they are flying all the way from Australia to meet up in Japan for 8 days in the Land of the Rising Sun. I will put my Korean-induced prejudice aside and make the most of the time. Things I am most excited to see are mainly in Kyoto I think (I really wanna see this bamboo forest Amy recommended to me!) and I am super keen to try the food. But the big draw card is my friends. Honestly, they could have said "Hey Bon, lets sit in your room all week and play xbox" and I would have been down for it. I am really looking forward to some girly time with people from home. 

  I love all my friends here, and we have the best time and the best gossip sessions etc, BUT there is something about having a yarn with someone from your own country, especially when you know its gonna be 2 of your oldest friends. Us 3 girls have been planning on this trip to Jap since we were about 16, and I can't believe here we are, more than 10 years later, actually doing it. How many other people out there can say that they have done this??? I am also really looking forward to introducing them to Korea and the crazy people and culture. 

  I am heading off with basically no money, which has turned into the story of my life since coming to this place. Korea has robbed me of my ability to save and budget, 2 things that I had trained myself to do really well at home. Now I live from pay to pay, and freak out in between. I have a constant counter on my phone which counts down to every pay day. So I am going to be doing this trip on the cheap which I didn't want to do but I am sure it is possible. Or I will do my usual and borrow money. There is a great bank here called Megan, who is an amazing friend who doesn't charge interest :)

  I am also getting sich which is typical for me. My throat is killing me and my head has been pounding since yesterday afternoon. I think I just need more sleep but there is too much to do. Painkillers to the rescue and we are good. It will NOT stop me from enjoying this time!

Somebody wants to be packed in the suitcase!

In other news...

  My sister is in Europe with her bf. I am so jelly, I think the place I most want to visit on that side of the world is Italy (where she is now). It sounds amazing and I am obsessed with food. So massive diet and save up and then go. Maybe one day I can get married and have my honeymoon there :)

  Its coming up to goodbye time for some of my favourite people here. I hate thinking about it, but such is life I guess. I know we will stay in contact because everybody likes free accommodation all over the world!

  I don't think I have anything else right now... My head os pounding and I really want to go home and snooze. I won't though, I will go home and try and colour more of my hair. I am trying to get it pink but it keeps going orange. FAIL. 

xoxoxoxo

Kids say the darnedest things...

Conversations and observations

  Taking into consideration language/age/experience barriers, you would think that the conversations I have with many of my students would be, well, stupid. And for the most part they kinda are... At the same time though they crack me up, whether it be what they are saying or what they are trying to say. I love how the kids often want to include me in their conversations and tell me about what they are doing. Often they just wander over and tell me their stories in Korean, knowing I might only understand a tiny portion of what they are going on about (in my head I am like "ok, I think he is talking about his mum...").

  I have a perfect example from today. 

"Teacher, this boy is fat"

  One of my grade 5 girls is reasonably high level (by comparison to all the others) and sits next to this little boy who is a little chubby. They help each other out with their work, and get along pretty well. I walked up and was standing off to the side of the boy when I saw him rubbing is tummy. I asked him if he was sick.

"No, Bonnie. Not sick. Hungry."

I giggled and told him he should have had breakfast... At this point his neighbor chimed in.

"Bonnie, he had breakfast. He had 2 breakfast... He is a pig and he is very fat." 

I told her she shouldn't call him fat, and that he is still getting taller. She shook her head sadly and looked at the boy and gave him the most pitying look I have seen a child give another.

"Bonnie, he will always be fat, even if he is tall. His face is fat, and he loves food too much. His weight is 57, and my mother is weight 45... He is much much fatter and still hungry." 

The boy is watching her, trying to piece what she is saying. She writes something on his book (the weight of him and her mum) and then he nods and starts agreeing with her. He tells me that yes, he is fat, and he loves food. He looked so sad as he was saying it... He grabbed hold of his tummy and started shaking it. He stopped, both the kids looked at each other and the boy started pissing himself laughing, all the while saying "Nooooo so fat!"

It was the funniest conversation I have had in a while. The 3 of us were giggling like crazy, trying to be quiet during class. 

HE DID IT

I have never know a bigger group of "dobbers" in my life. These kids rat on each other relentlessly, and then just get over it. 

2 boys were up the back with their books propped up. I wandered over to see and lo, they were playing with their phones. So obvious. I just told them to put them away and left it... They put their phones in their pencil cases and that was it. But they left their books up... I don't know what they were doing but it wasn't phones. The next thing you know one of the girls from the front of the room has her hand up and is telling Co that they are playing with phones. He naturally goes ballistic and kicks them out of the class and takes their phones. 

Whenever there is some giggling or screwing around in class Co will stop teaching and demand to know who the culprits are. In Australia, all the students would be dead silent. They would rather die a painful death than give their class mates away. Not so here. All fingers are pointed (literally) and names are called out until the students responsible for the disruption are standing up and shamed out of the classroom. Its totally bizarre. 

Compliments???

I know I have mentioned some compliments I have received in the past, but this week they have been cuter than usual...

"Teacher, your hair is like a doll"

"Bonnie I like your nail colours"

"You are wearing nice blouse"

"No lense? Good colour!"

In Other news...

  I am blown away by what is happening in Australia at the moment. I don't wanna get all political on everyone, but Kevin Rudd is the PM again??? What the hell happened? I know Julia wasn't popular, but Labour Party please - YOU GOT RID OF HIM LAST TIME. And all of this just happens...

  To be honest, the Kevin 07 campaign sold me. I voted for the guy - I DID NOT vote for Gillard. So I was pretty mad when they ditched Rudd as the leader of the Labour Party and the counrty. I did not vote for Labour in the next election, mainly because the party proved they could not be trusted. They strike me as a bunch of back stabbing morons that do not follow through with party promises. Anyway now it seems yet again the Labour Government are playing with Australian voters. It's stupid. Sooooo not gonna vote this time. Fine me is you want...

  Some democracy - its illegal NOT TO VOTE in Australia. Ugh.

  Tickets are purchased for my flight to Japan in August!!! I am meeting Jess and Nay (Melbourne friends) in Osaka and we are touring around from there. I am super excited waaaahajdkfofknsabdflkjocaidhnfav...

  I will be flying with Asiana Air I think (shout out to Heejin for booking my ticket) so I will do a write up on them at some point... And I am planning on taking my camera AND camcorder to get some nice memories of Japan. So I am on a super tight budget here now preparing for the trip. 

  I had to say more goodbyes this week - Big goodbye to Heather and Michelle. Heather is from the UK and Michelle from Ireland... They are great people and amazing friends. 

Heather stayed at mine before she jetted off (she is headed to Australia the lucky bitch) and I love her so much... I feel like I have known her my whole life not just a year. So I spent the morning crying about that... This is the hardest part of doing this teaching abroad thing... You leave friends from home, come here, make new friends, then they leave you! I don't want to even think about what I will be like when I leave.

I am in the process of signing a new contract to stay here at the school in Korea for another year. I love this place too much, I can't leave yet.

Anyway, extra class time! Better go educate some kids.

xoxoxox